Lick my ass theat

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From the September issue In the face of careless driving, whatever happened to indifferent cursing? You know, cursing without the shopworn F-bomb? Mind you, at the time, I also thought that Labor Day—all those picnics, you know? My father was a navy vet, so he surely possessed piquant profanity. They were in a Riley sedan, which, incredibly, we thought was suave at the time. David Sedaris, in Esquire , one of our sister publications, surveyed foreign profanity uttered by folks cut off in traffic.

If butts could talk, the first thing they would say is "We don't like being scraped with abrasive toilet paper every day! It's the American dream, and they would have put it into the Constitution if they'd had any foresight at all. Which is as nice for hands as it is for butts! No more punching your finger through the toilet paper and getting it dirty. By , half of all homes in Japan had a personalized jet spray installed in their toilets.

Adapting to endure humanity's impact on the world. Zoologist and butt book author Dani Rabaiotti on the worst fart she ever smelled and what new fart research she'd like to see. Max G.